I was having a conversation with a friend the other evening, and recalled a time when there was a lot of stress in my personal life, yet I felt guilty. I felt guilty knowing that so many people dealing with similar or even harder challenges weren’t as supported as I was by friends & family, good medical insurance for my family, and financial stability. Then someone told me, “Yes, there may be other people facing hard things, too, but that doesn’t negate your experience. We ALL have our own ‘hard!’”
I’m currently reading “The Way of the Wizard” by Deepak Chopra, a parable / story based approach for “…Creating the Life You Want.” In the first section he writes, “A disciple once went to a great master and said, ‘Why do I feel so bottled up inside, as if I want to scream?’ The master … replied ‘Because everyone feels that way.’”
The reality is, everyone’s specific experiences are individual, but all of our experiences have similarities throughout or lives. This applies to both professional and personal journeys. My friend mentioned that sometimes as we walk through our hard we want to talk to people, and other times we just want to stay to ourselves. This can be for introspection, for peace, or because,though well meaning, the things and advice others give us isn’t always helpful.
It’s critical that we believe in positive intent as my friend mentioned. We know those words of advice are coming from a good place and wanting to help, but they may not be the words we need to hear at that point in time. Everyone’s advice comes from their experience, which is not your experience.
That is not to say that different opinions and insights lack benefit. Whether it be personal or professional, we need input from a wide range of backgrounds. There are times we can synthesize and build from diverse input in the moment. Then there are times when that alternative viewpoint hits us days, or even months later and brings us critical new insights that help us grow.
When you are living with your own “hard” I hope you have the opportunity to lean into support and learn and grow when ready. What insight have you gained from believing in positive intent?